Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
