You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
