no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
