STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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