...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
