Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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