I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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