Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
