she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
