bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize