Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
