seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
