Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
