Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
