I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
