Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
