Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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