They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
