please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
