If i come over, it means nothing
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
third nipple confirmed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
