would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
