Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
