you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
