We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
