I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
