I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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