paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she woke up with a sticky ear
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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