Sry I called you an 8
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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