you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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