I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
