I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
