i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
