goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
