I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your topless pictures make me question reality
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
