Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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