Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize