another moral hangover. fuck.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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