He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
