carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
