i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
