I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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