im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We got so high we made milksteak
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
