you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
