OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All I want is dick and wine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
