she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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