she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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