just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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