i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
