I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
