dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
