can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
