I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
