we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
