I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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