im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize