I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
MIDGETS
????
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
