All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He passed out mid-signature
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
